House Yourself in Jesus’s Grace
It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. Proverbs 21:9 (NLT)
I tend to be passive aggressive, and I do not want a quarrel or raised voices! I used to tell my ex-husband, “No I’m not mad at you!” but then I would intentionally burn his favorite meal. My parent and grandparents raised me, and I did not get to see conflict resolution. Three generations under the same roof? Yes, there were problems but how they were solved remains a mystery to me even today. Pamela Toussaint Howard (Morning with Jesus) encourages us to house ourselves in Jesus’s grace instead of quarreling.
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Growing up, I lived with my family in a modest co-op apartment about twenty minutes from Manhattan. It was not a big house, but it was a good home (even though we had that ubiquitous 1970s plastic on the couches.) Why was it good? Because my parents took pains to cultivate an atmosphere of peace that went far beyond the structure, the size, or the décor. There was love and acceptance there. For the most part, words were chosen carefully—used to edify, not to discourage.
Recently, Jesus showed me that my husband, Andrew, and I had not achieved the same level success in our home. Yes, we live in a nice, spacious house. And I took great pride in furnishing it with love, creativity, and a little splurging too. Not every brown girl in America gets to experience these joys, so I savored every moment.
But for a while, peace was scarce in our household. Andrew and I began bickering about the smallest things. Our conversations were laced with sarcasm and unspoken expectations. Snarky comments, quarrels, and digs ruled the day. We laughed less and less and we spent more time apart. The peace and sanctity of our marriage was threatened.
It took a near-crisis for me to wake up and make a change. Where I lived wasn’t as important as who I lived with. I chose to extend to my husband and family the same grace Jesus gave me, and they returned the favor.
FAITH STEP: House yourself in Jesus’s grace the next time you are about to quarrel with someone, especially a loved one or spouse.
Loving Lord, thank You for Your peace. Help us to live in Your grace and to show mercy to others. AMEN.