Accept or Approve
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 (ESV)
Recently I had lunch with a very dear friend and I shared my anxiety about an upcoming visit with a relative. I shared how we are so different and that her lifestyle is not mine and vice versa. She stopped me mid-sentence and told me, “You only need acceptance from her—not approval!” I sat back and was quiet for a few minutes and she just continued to look at me. “Well,” she finally said, “am I right?” I really had to think about that.
How do we get so caught up in our relationships that we get these two confused? One of the deepest needs in our psychological composition is the need to belong. We were never created to be alone for an extended period. Here is the start of many problems.
Where do I fit in? What if they don’t like me? Who should I hang out with? What will my family say? If you have never had these thoughts, you are being dishonest! However, as we get older, we kind of snub our noses at the outside influencers and say, “It is what it is!”
Our faith-walk carries us through each phase of life. Being grounded in His Word is essential as is trust and obedience. The only approval we should ever seek is His. When we are off course, there is that feeling in the pit of our stomach that does not bring peace. Something is wrong! We may need to untangle the big mess we’ve made…but the good news is that He will help us. Yes, it is mostly our mess because we intentionally did not listen to the Holy Spirit within us.
Does the verse above give you shivers? It should because we are people-pleasers. All of us have this character flaw within us. It is a fragile motivator.
My friend was correct in what she told me. I’ll focus on needing God’s approval, but I still want to be accepted. It is in this acceptance that I find peace of mind.
Heavenly Father, thank You for friends who tell it like it is! Teach us to hear the Holy Spirit before we get into tangled messes. Help us to seek only Your approval. AMEN.